I'm getting really annoyed, cos i was just srting out comments on these enties, and they're all adding to the "Newest posts" stuff. Grrrrrr.

Been proper moody for the past couple of days, just snapping at everyone and everything, hmm, idk why. Get proper annoyed for no reason. Everytime i talk to the ex i get really angry, because it's my fault he's gone.

I've liked him for nearly a year, i'm not giving up on him this easily, i had about 4 months where he barely knew who i was, i was just "Harrys ex-girlfriend" to him. And if i got where i am now from him not knowing i exist, then i can get him back. I think. I hope. Meh. I'll just have to wish on a few more stars and flirt a hell of a lot more. Baha.

So last night the ex saw some girl get beat up by her boyfriend proper badly, in my exes garden and that, and they got the ambulance and stuff, but yeah.

And yeah, he was proper shook up by it all. & was talking to me about it till stupid o clock in the morning, i didn't sleep last night. But i just felt so helpless, being stuck 8 miles away from him, not being able to comfort him, console him, and stop him from doing stupid things, and i realised that the guy i loved IS really there, because the side of him i saw last night is the side i know. I was just so lost for words though, i didn't want to say anything incase i made it worse, and it was just so awful. I can't imagine what that poor girl had to go through, it's horrific. And he was going to go after the guy that did it, and stuff, and that made me even more scared. But now he's not.

 He's a big, warty, slimy, lying toad at that.

& My eyelashes are falling out.

Cos i wear too much mascara, and it makes my eyelashes fall out. Ha. My eye is naked.

Yeah, turns out the guy i really thought i could have ended up loving isn't who i thought he was at all. I "loved" some fake person. I really did hate love, i hated the concept of it, and i hated it being used wrongly, i hated the thought of falling in love, and i hated the thought of somebody loving me, i thought it was impossible at 15, but i thought it was the only way to describe what i felt for Kyle. Because i'm falling "out of love" so quickly, i've decided i wasn't in love at all.

I'm NOT ok, in the slightest.

I just wish we'd kissed in the rain more, talked on the phone just that little bit longer, held each other for a few more seconds, cos if i knew this was going to happen, i'd of made sure we did.

He promised me so much; to take me to the beach in the snow, to take me to London, to never let me go...

Haha, i sound so goddamn pathetic, i'm sick of sounding like this, it's so not like me. I'm getting REALLY annoyed at myself for it. Grr.

Soo yeah, got on my school bus this morning in a relatively good mood, even though last night me and Kyle decided to end things for good, and then i broke my phone - ACTUALLY BROKE IT. I suppose it's one way to delete all the texts from him like.

Then this copper got on the bus, and us on the back seat were all like "Ooooh" and like, Mr. Copper was giving us evils and that. And then he started going on about someone setting fire to a door :S and blocking the toilets ithe youth club, all while staring at us! Tuhhh. And yeah, there's this guy going round graffiti-ing everything with SA-13, and the copper was all "I KNOW IT'S SOMEONE CALLED SAM! SAM, YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM US!" And the guy who's doing it is actually called Matty.. LMFAO!

And i realised how much i miss her. So she's coming to mine on Sunday, which could be pretty interesting...

Then i realised, i don't really need Kyle to be happy. I can have fun while single - i mean, Saturday showed that. I'm sick of being an emotional wrek over him, it's not like me to get like this over anyone, I'M the one that ends relationships. This is just all wrong! So yeah, i'm going back to the bitter, twisted Soozie, the one that hates love, and flirts alot. 

I'm not gonna go to his party on Saturday, not after last night.

Cos i mean, we're only going out round town and that anywaysss, idk, he didn't even give me details of what's goin on! I think he just asked me to be polite.

I miss the summer, it was so nice, and i had him, and we just used to sit on my bed all curled up, just talkin and laughin and stuff, yeaah, i can't lay on his side of the bed, makes me cry. Daaaamn, i really am that pathetic!

My roots are coming through dead bad on my hair! Arrgh, i don't have the money to get it redyed at the moment, i desperately need a new job . Chuffing nora.

Talked to HIM last night, to sort things out, and he really can't make up his mind with what he wants to do... For actual gods sake! One second he wanted to get back with me, the next he was trying to move on, and then he just didn't know what to do! I hope he got no sleep last night and his huuuuge bags under his eyes this morning  it'll serve him right! Cos i didn't, cried so much i was actually sick! So i'm off school ill, my mother is proper babying me, and trying to feed me soup and cups of tea, WHICH I DON'T WANT. Kinda sucks, cos i had to start my Prefect Duties today, and now i'll have no idea what to do when i get back to school, haha oh dear. I still have no idea HOW on this earth i became a prefect, cos i'm actually really naughty "/ hmm.

Not a day passed me by when i don't think about you, and there's no moving on, cause i know you're the one, and i can't be without you.

So we're off out on Saturday, he's invited his mates, and then me and a mate of mine, as just friends. Can i really do this, like, a week after we split up?

I wanna see him, i NEED to see him, and i want to win him back. But it's not going to happen, so why bother?

Lived a Princess, she lived in a beautiful mansion and had a gorgeous Prince...

Chyeah, then her parents divorced, she moved into a tiny house, and her "Prince" turned out to be just like any other guy.

I'm Sooz, and i suppose my life is like any other typical teenage life; school, coursework, bitchy friends, boys, and bloody ex-girlfriends  .